they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
