this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
