I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I think I sprained my soul last night
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
