I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I bet he comes in French.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
