Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
