ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
