no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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