Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
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