wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
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