I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
it was like eating out sand paper
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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