he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Randomize
