Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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