yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
