he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
