i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
