well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
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Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
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PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
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