Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
