guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
