You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
