He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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