the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
the condom got lost in my hair
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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