nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
