I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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