Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Randomize
