So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
This girl is more easily done than said...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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