69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
