Apparently you make a good broom.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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