Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs feel like baby dolphins
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.