Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
