Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
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I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
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I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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