whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
