she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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