Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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