Sry I called you an 8
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
