Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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