yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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