don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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