I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
