your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
is it fun? or sober?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
