I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
