well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
