My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
