I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
