hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
