im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
