Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
