Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
