I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
