omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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