Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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