Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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