I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
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I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
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I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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