i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
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