I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
