shes about as inviting as chlamydia
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
