so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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