I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
