i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
