Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
