Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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