Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
