i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
