I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
