At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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