Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
