Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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